A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away in a small country of drunken hobbits called Britain, many feared a dark wizard which ruled the land with an iron fist.
Anyone who dared defy him had that iron fist shoved deep into their man-hole until they liked it.
A small group of prudes, called Pilgrims, who feared being turned into anal-sex loving homosexuals, decided to pack up their women and get the fuck out of Dodge.
They boarded three ships called the Wiener, Penis and Santa Maria and started their magical voyage towards the new world.
There they met sexy Injuns and had a huge fucking orgy.
In order to thank their new white sex-gods, the Indians decided to teach them how to hunt, fish, and smoke marijuana.
Pleased, the white Pilgrims decided to have a feast with their red-skinned neighbors where they told the Indians how grateful they were for their help but if they didn't get the fuck off this land they would burn them alive and eat their children.